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Judy Kirchner & Filmmaker Tom Murray
A few thoughts about ALMOST MYSELF and the making of the documentary.
One could say this is as much a film about society and the way that people who are considered "different" are treated,
as much as it is a film about the transgender people I met.
My first effort at documentary filmmaking took place rather late in life. The success of my film FARM FAMILY…in
search of Gay life in Rural America, was very exciting. The film was inspired by my own upbringing on a dairy farm in
the Midwest and struggling between urban and rural environs after coming to terms with being gay. I was honored that
the piece won the jury award at the prestigious Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival for “Best
Feature Length Documentary” in 2004. It was the same year that I turned 60 ! There's a web link for info on FARM
FAMILY on the link page. Some of you may have seen the film on LOGO TV where it has been airing periodically.
During the course of making the film, I was interviewing someone who made a comment about the vast diversity of
LGBT culture. While this individual was living in more rural surroundings, he felt that he did not connect with his
LGBT peers there, but yet acknowledged that he fully understood the common experience we all have of coming to
terms with our sexuality and true being. I thought it might be an interesting idea for a second film……to talk to people
about their “coming out” experiences both anecdotal and emotional. The term “LGBT” covers such a wide range of
individuals, and it became clear to me that most of my experience and contact had been primarily just the “G” portion.
With that in mind, I set out to make the piece broader with it’s scope.
While doing web research for the piece, I happened on a somewhat unusual web site then titled, “Help Me Reverse
My Sex Change dot ORG.” The site had been set up and operated by Judy Kirchner, a transgender woman who was
approaching her 40th birthday. With circumstances which are more spelled out in ALMOST MYSELF, after being
born a male, having surgery and living nearly 20 years as a female, she had decided to become a guy again. One of the
reason that I mention now, was her involvement in one of the “ex-gay” ministries.
Ironically, her story set me off on a path of a much different focus for my piece which ended up as FISH CAN’T FLY.
This film explores the ways in which some Gays and Lesbians of faith struggle to put their spirituality and sexuality in
harmony. I was fortunate to find such a great group of individuals to tell their stories of involvement with these “ex-
gay” groups in a very human and understanding manner. (I of course highly recommend the film) I felt that Judy’s
story was so fascinating and needed more exploration beyond just the effects of these anti-gay groups, that I decided to
use it as a basis of this latest work, ALMOST MYSELF and did NOT include it in the FISH piece.
Judy’s journey, while clearly a less conventional tale, is a large part of the film, but is by no means the entire focus.
Now Josef Kirchner, this story has proven to initiate discussion on many fronts. Having had little previous contact with
trans identifying individuals, again I wanted to learn the real world and human stories. Gay themed films and now
transgender stories are more and more visible in the media. I did not want to do a film that just re-hashed what’s been
done before but wanted again to focus on the human side of it all. Aside what political or religious bias one may have
towards the topic, what is it really like? IS THESE PIECE A DEFINITIVE WORK ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BE
TRANSGENDER? Not hardly. Will the film explore the vast diversity of what it means to be identified as a male at
birth and later to discover one’s true gender? Will this film shed some light and understanding similar to what I have
gained from this experience??? That is my hope.
The settings for the stories literally are coast to coast. They range from the farmland of central Florida, to the
mountains of North Carolina, and to urban centers where articulate leaders and activists reside. I was fortunate to
have the participation of some of the more visible leaders who include, Kate Bornstein, Rosalyn Blumenstein, Holly
Boswell and surgeon Dr. Marci Bowers. I was also fortunate to meet and interview Georgie Jessup who speaks about
her music and songwriting, much of which has relevant transgender themes. (look for contact info on the LINKS page)
I hope to have more information on the site in the near future. Thanks for visiting and check back again.
TOM MURRAY
Email: almostmyself@aol.com
One could say this is as much a film about society and the way that people who are considered "different" are treated,
as much as it is a film about the transgender people I met.
My first effort at documentary filmmaking took place rather late in life. The success of my film FARM FAMILY…in
search of Gay life in Rural America, was very exciting. The film was inspired by my own upbringing on a dairy farm in
the Midwest and struggling between urban and rural environs after coming to terms with being gay. I was honored that
the piece won the jury award at the prestigious Philadelphia International Gay & Lesbian Film Festival for “Best
Feature Length Documentary” in 2004. It was the same year that I turned 60 ! There's a web link for info on FARM
FAMILY on the link page. Some of you may have seen the film on LOGO TV where it has been airing periodically.
During the course of making the film, I was interviewing someone who made a comment about the vast diversity of
LGBT culture. While this individual was living in more rural surroundings, he felt that he did not connect with his
LGBT peers there, but yet acknowledged that he fully understood the common experience we all have of coming to
terms with our sexuality and true being. I thought it might be an interesting idea for a second film……to talk to people
about their “coming out” experiences both anecdotal and emotional. The term “LGBT” covers such a wide range of
individuals, and it became clear to me that most of my experience and contact had been primarily just the “G” portion.
With that in mind, I set out to make the piece broader with it’s scope.
While doing web research for the piece, I happened on a somewhat unusual web site then titled, “Help Me Reverse
My Sex Change dot ORG.” The site had been set up and operated by Judy Kirchner, a transgender woman who was
approaching her 40th birthday. With circumstances which are more spelled out in ALMOST MYSELF, after being
born a male, having surgery and living nearly 20 years as a female, she had decided to become a guy again. One of the
reason that I mention now, was her involvement in one of the “ex-gay” ministries.
Ironically, her story set me off on a path of a much different focus for my piece which ended up as FISH CAN’T FLY.
This film explores the ways in which some Gays and Lesbians of faith struggle to put their spirituality and sexuality in
harmony. I was fortunate to find such a great group of individuals to tell their stories of involvement with these “ex-
gay” groups in a very human and understanding manner. (I of course highly recommend the film) I felt that Judy’s
story was so fascinating and needed more exploration beyond just the effects of these anti-gay groups, that I decided to
use it as a basis of this latest work, ALMOST MYSELF and did NOT include it in the FISH piece.
Judy’s journey, while clearly a less conventional tale, is a large part of the film, but is by no means the entire focus.
Now Josef Kirchner, this story has proven to initiate discussion on many fronts. Having had little previous contact with
trans identifying individuals, again I wanted to learn the real world and human stories. Gay themed films and now
transgender stories are more and more visible in the media. I did not want to do a film that just re-hashed what’s been
done before but wanted again to focus on the human side of it all. Aside what political or religious bias one may have
towards the topic, what is it really like? IS THESE PIECE A DEFINITIVE WORK ON WHAT IT MEANS TO BE
TRANSGENDER? Not hardly. Will the film explore the vast diversity of what it means to be identified as a male at
birth and later to discover one’s true gender? Will this film shed some light and understanding similar to what I have
gained from this experience??? That is my hope.
The settings for the stories literally are coast to coast. They range from the farmland of central Florida, to the
mountains of North Carolina, and to urban centers where articulate leaders and activists reside. I was fortunate to
have the participation of some of the more visible leaders who include, Kate Bornstein, Rosalyn Blumenstein, Holly
Boswell and surgeon Dr. Marci Bowers. I was also fortunate to meet and interview Georgie Jessup who speaks about
her music and songwriting, much of which has relevant transgender themes. (look for contact info on the LINKS page)
I hope to have more information on the site in the near future. Thanks for visiting and check back again.
TOM MURRAY
Email: almostmyself@aol.com
ALMOST MYSELF
Reflections on mending and transcending gender